Mixed Feelings

I know it's still June and I'm not going back to work until the end of August, but the wheels are already turning in my head thinking about school and everything I need to do before the year starts up again. It feels like so long since I have been in my own classroom since I did push-in this year and have been out of school since the end of February. I really hope I haven't lost my mojo! Ha!

Part of me feels excited to get back in the classroom. I'm excited to have a new group of kids, to decorate my new room, and to be back in the groove of working everyday. But...a big part of me feels terrible about the idea of Mason being with other people all day, everyday while I'm gone. Right now he is literally a different baby everyday when he wakes up. He's learning so fast and has new skills to show off everyday. I don't want to miss that! The idea that he will be at daycare for at least 8 hours a day is really depressing to me, even though we found a place that I'm sure he'll love. But oy...not fun to think about leaving my little baby, especially when I think of how fast four months has already flown by. I feel like I'm going to blink and he'll be 17.

Since I am definitely going back to work in August, I'm trying really hard to get myself excited about it, instead of concentrating on the bad parts. When Mason goes down for {very short} naps, I've been trying to work on back to school stuff. The best I can do is be very prepared and organized so that I don't feel stressed during the school year. Hopefully that'll help ease the blow.

Through it all, I can't help thinking that every woman should get a year maternity leave! All these poor little babies being separated from their mommas...doesn't seem right! I am thankful at least that I have a job that allows me to get out of work relatively early in the day, have holiday breaks, and the summer time off.

Working mommas, any tips for easing the guilt when your little one is away from you during the working day?!

Happy...

It's summer, the baby is peacefully napping, and I have an iced vanilla latte next to me. Life is good.

Things I Want to Remember at Three Months...

Mason is already three months old- almost four. He's becoming more and more fun each day. Things I want to remember about three months old:

* so smiley
* starting to laugh more
* likes holding onto fabric
* can reach for and grasp toys like rattles
* getting much better at tummy time and his neck is getting very strong
* started rolling from stomach to back probably a month ago
* loves looking at nature- stares at the trees and being outside calms him
* likes the bath {most days}
* bedtime is easy- he goes right down
* daytime naps- not as easy...usually maxes out at 30-40 min of sleep
* starting to chew on everything, especially his hands
* drooling...might be starting to teethe
* does NOT like his carseat- screams when he gets in it but then calms down once we get moving
* still prefers to be held all the time!
* loves being sung to
* adorable baby chatter
* likes books...will listen to me read 4-5 at a time most days
* has the most adorable pout ever

Love you, little guy!

The Longest Shortest Time...

I've been meaning to write this for a long time now, but you know, I've been kind of busy with a baby! This has been the longest three months and the shortest three months of my life all at the same time. I want to make sure that I remember the details of these blurry first few months, starting with February 27th...

So my due date, the 27th, rolled around and I went to work like normal. By the end of the day I had decided that even though the baby wasn't here yet, I wanted to be done with work so I could rest. Let me tell you, lugging my very pregnant self around school was not the most comfortable by the last few weeks!

I went to bed like normal and woke up around 11 pm that night with contractions that I knew were real. I woke Gil up and told him I was having some contractions and he happily went back to sleep immediately. Ha!

I tried to get some sleep...because that's what everyone says you should do. Sleep now to save up your energy! Yeah right! I had to get up and move. I got up and went in our bathroom and just kept moving and swaying. Somewhere in there I started timing contractions. I must've really been in the zone because the time flew by until 1 a.m. when I felt like I should wake Gil up. By now the contractions were pretty strong to the point where I thought maybe we would be heading to the hospital.

Gil got up, showered, packed the rest of the things in our hospital bag, and called my doctor and  the birthing center. The nurse wanted to talk to me to see what state I was in and by now I had to stop talking to her to get through a contraction. They said I sounded ready to come in! My biggest fear was that we would get there and be sent home. Before we left, Gil said he needed to eat something so I stood there having contractions waiting while he ate a bowl of cereal. Hilarious to think about now because by the time we got to the hospital I was already 8 cm dilated!

I was also scared about the car ride to the hospital- that I would be extremely uncomfortable and miserable. But somehow through it all, I must've just been in the zone and stayed pretty calm and comfortable.

When we got to the hospital, Gil dropped me off at the Emergency Room entrance like they told us to, so I could get right up to the room and he went to park the car. I remember a nice old man getting a wheelchair ready for me and I had to wait a minute or two for a contraction to pass before I could even think of sitting down. Then a nice nurse came and got me to wheel me up to the Alternative Birthing Center. I remember her making chitchat with me and being slightly annoyed by this haha!

I got up to the ABC and there was a warm bath waiting for me in the huge tub. Yes please! I labored for a couple of hours and by 6:47 a.m. Mason James was born! He was 8 lbs 6 oz and 21 inches long.

In the hospital the day we went home

It was a pretty amazing experience and I was so happy to have Gil by my side the whole time.